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Mark 10:2-16 Genesis 2:18-24
Do you ever notice how good people are at pushing the limits, trying to figure out what they can get away with without getting in trouble? With my brother, it was always, how many times can I hit him before he’ll go off screaming and crying to mom? There’s been several examples of this come up recently in the news. Think of Congressman Foley and how many emails he must’ve sent over the years to those teenage boys, knowing that each one was probably inappropriate, yet always sending one more until it was one too many and now he’s out of a job. Think of stem cells and the initiative that we are voting on in the upcoming election…how far can scientists go without actually calling it human cloning? On TV and in the movies, they’re always trying to figure out how many curse words or how much flesh they can show without getting fined by the FCC or getting bumped up to an R rating. It seems we’re always pushing the limits, walking that fine line between right and wrong, and I think our society bears the marks of this slippery slope. The Pharisees in our gospel story today were no different. They come to Jesus with an interesting question, one that no doubt had to do with morals, just like many of our issues today. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” And, as is often the case, Jesus throws them back a question, “Well, what did Moses command you?” And, note their response – it’s subtle but important – they say, “Moses ALLOWED a man to write a certificate of dismissal and divorce her.” They didn’t answer Jesus’ question…Moses didn’t COMMAND anyone to get divorced, yet they were so focused on pushing the limits and trying to figure out what they could get away with, that they completely missed what Jesus was trying to teach them. Jesus tries bring them back from the edges, back from worrying so much about where that line between right and wrong is, and instead, focus on what they know is right. In this instance, he reminds them of what a God-given gift marriage is and how right it is. He tells them basically, “Look, don’t focus on what’s allowed and not allowed in divorce. Let’s focus on better understanding what God’s intentions are for marriage and human relationships, not what is just enough to get by and still be okay.” The gift of God that is mentioned in all of our scripture readings today is this gift of human relationships, the gift that we don’t have to go through life alone. Spouses, family, friends, neighbors, coworkers – God gave us helpers and partners in life - people to share our joys and sorrows, our laughter and our tears. God created us to need other people and anyone who says that they can make on their own is lying. Humans are social beings, created by God to be in relationship with one another. This is perhaps God’s greatest gift in all of creation, and perhaps the one thing that causes us more joy and pain than any other – human relationships. Thinking about and celebrating our relationships is where Jesus directs us to this morning. He invites us to recognize the gifts that we have in each other, and to realize that God has some definite intentions for us and how we relate to each other. And in a way, I think he is challenging us. For its always easier to point out the negative in something and someone rather to celebrate the positive. The Pharisees were dwelling on the divorce laws rather than focusing on God’s will and intention for marriage. Its easier for us to gossip about someone who’s marriage is falling apart than it is for us to speculate on how a couple can remain married for over 60 years, like Ed & Dee Peterson. Its easier to show our displeasure with our spouse than it is to show our appreciation. Its easier for us to walk away from an argument than to do the hard work of resolution and compromise. Yet, these easy things are not God’s intentions for us. Today, Jesus is calling us back from the edges of our relationships, back from focusing on what causes brokenness & pain, and challenging us to examine what holds our relationships together. There’s a great example of how this happens in the movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding. During this movie, the father of the bride is intent on making sure that his Greek daughter marries another Greek man to preserve their heritage. Unfortunately, Toula, the bride falls in love with Ian Miller, who is not Greek. Toula’s father does the easy thing, spending the rest of the movie focusing on the fact that Ian is not like them, he’s not Greek, and trying to disrupt the wedding. The wedding happens anyway and this is her father’s speech at the reception.
Play Clip
His focus has shifted from the differences and the brokenness to what they actually have in common. Instead of apples & oranges, he realizes that they are all really just fruit. With this revelation, by understanding what holds them together, he learns acceptance, and he can rejoice in their relationship and give them a gift. There’s another great example of this kind of thinking in a song that came out while I was in high school, and I’d like to share just a short clip of it. The words will be on the screen. It’s probably the first time that an Everclear song has ever been used in a sermon, but here you go, the song is called, Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
Play Song
Despite the fact that the singer’s relationship is falling apart, he wants to get back to the one thing that they still have and enjoy, the movie Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Granted, a movie is probably not going to be enough to keep them together, but his intention is there – get back to what they both felt was important. When we lose our focus, when we get strung out on the edges of broken relationships, when we torment or are tormented by our loved ones, when we start focusing on the negative things, we need to find a way back to the center, back to what’s important and what we know to be right. In every relationship there is something that holds it together. In friendships & in family & even in marriage, the best place to go to rediscover that center is to turn to Christ – the pioneer of salvation and the perfector of our faith. In Jesus, we see how to maintain relationships, and how to be in relationship with God, with fellow human beings, and even with creation. Jesus Christ is our center. He is the glue that holds each of us together. He’s the one thing we’ve got. And he loves us all so very much, even if all of us really are fruits. Now, before I close, I want to make sure you all get your money’s worth this morning, so I don’t want to avoid the 10,000 lb. elephant that comes with this gospel lesson. Jesus does have some strong words to say about divorce and remarriage, and just because these have become too common in our society, we can’t avoid what he has to say. He makes it clear that divorce has never been God’s intention for marriage. Divorced people and remarried people are sinners. But another one of those easy things to do is to point out the sin in someone else, while totally ignoring your own sin. We are all sinners. And because of human sinfulness, divorce does happen and we do need divorce laws for protection. Its important to remember however, that short of losing a child, divorce is probably the most painful thing a person can endure. When someone’s life has been publicly torn apart, how much more do you think that person needs the comfort, love, and acceptance of a Christian community? This week, I have a challenge for all of you. If you are married, I challenge you to share with your spouse all the things that you love about them, appreciate about them, and cherish about them. Think about and share with them why you think you’ve stayed married all these years and why they are such a blessing in your life. If you’re not married, I challenge you to do this same thing with your parents, your siblings, your children, or your friends. Share with the people you are closest to all of the things that you love and appreciate about them, why they are important to you. This week, instead of dwelling on what’s wrong in your relationships, focus on the blessings that God has given you through those people in your lives. Come back to what’s important and what’s right, and see if you can recognize Christ in each other. Amen.
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